Week 28: First Photo of Our Surrogate’s Baby Bump

24 Mar

Last week, while on a work trip in Austin, TX, Matt called just moments after I woke up.

“Have you seen your e-mail yet?” he asked.

“No,” I asked. “Why?”

“You’ll want to check it.”

Lo and behold, there was the very first photo we’d seen of our surrogate’s belly, looking very pregnant with our twins.

surrogate belly bump pregnant week 27

Ta da!

I can’t even describe how cool it’s been to see the sonograms, then the 3D sonogram, and now our surrogate’s belly, too. At every step it all feels even more real, and even more exciting.

Now at Week 28, there are only about seven more weeks to go. So crazy!

–Josh

Our Twins’ Week 25 3D Sonogram

23 Mar

I landed in Omaha on a Monday night, there for the week for work. I got in my rental car, heading for the hotel, when my phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Guess what we got?” It was Matt.

“What?”

“Our 3D sonogram.”

Shut up! I thought we weren’t supposed to get that until Week 28!”

“I’m watching it right now. Get to your hotel and log onto YouTube. I’m uploading the video for you now.”

Minutes later I was in my hotel room, watching our 42-minute (!) 3D sonogram. Using my iPhone, I shot about a minute of footage of some of the highlights and then put it online for our friends and family. Here’s that (amazing! awesome!) footage.

I can’t believe this technology. So cool.

So, there you have it: the first peek at our twins.

–Josh

Week 26: Third Trimester Begins!

9 Mar

Today’s an exciting day for us. At twenty-six weeks along, we’re now officially into the third trimester. As of today, if the twins happened to be born now (in an emergency, etc.) they would have an 80-90% chance of survival. Every week from here those odds only improve.

Obviously we hope the babies stay right where they are until mid-May, but it’s a relief knowing that if something happened and they came early, our kids have a much better chance of thriving than they did even a week ago. Definitely a happy milestone.

third trimester twins 26 weeks pregnany twins

Our surrogate’s belly must be getting pretty big at this point! Our clinic tells us that she’s resting at the clinic’s surrogate housing in Mumbai, with her young son at her side, and getting seen daily by a nurse and weekly by our doctor.

Just about two months to go!

–Josh

Shower Prep, Daddy Reading, and . . . Onesie Designing?

8 Mar

“Another one came today.”

“Another box?” I asked.

“Yep,” Matt said. “A big one. I can’t believe such little people are going to need such large things.”

When I got home, I saw exactly what Matt meant. Sitting in the corner of the living room sat yet another giant box, piled with several others, all of varying sizes, most quite sizeable. We’d registered on Amazon (where we heard prices were best), and at Babies ‘R Us (where the employees screeched and cooed made a huge fuss over us when we registered, which was adorable). Weeks before the shower the gifts were already piling up.

Matt’s mom and several friends had secretly started planning our baby shower months ago, and we didn’t find out until they recently had to clear a date with us. (I’ve been traveling so much for work that they wanted to make sure I’d actually be in town for the big day.) Other than the date, the shower is a complete surprise. All the details are secret. We’ve been instructed only to be in a certain place at a certain time, and the rest will be revealed to us as it unfolds.

As each box arrives, and I imagine what might be inside, I can’t help thinking the same thing: “This might be the infant swing that our babies use”; “These might be the blankets we swaddle our babies in when they first get home”; “This box might hold the tub that we bathe our babies in.” I know it all probably sounds very obvious, but it also feels kind of momentous as each item arrives.

Everything is feeling very, very real.

parents magazine cover new dads on the blockAlso, just a couple weeks ago, our first issue of Parents magazine arrived. That was a crazy moment for me, because five years ago I was actually on staff at Parents, and wrote for both the magazine and their blog. I was a bachelor at the time, living the single life in Manhattan, and writing for this magazine for families. And now here I am, a few years later, a married subscriber with babies on the way.

While on all these recently work trips–I’m trying to squeeze in a lot of them before the kids get here–I’ve tried to mix in a little fun. One of the trips brought me near my friends Alisha and Cam in the Midwest. I wrapped up work on a Friday and then headed to their house for a weekend of hanging out and catching up, and they surprised me on the first night with a very cool craft project.

On Alisha and Cam’s dining room table sat several onesies, fabric markers and washable puff paints, and stencils. At first I didn’t quite connect what was going on.

making onesie infant baby fabric marker puff paint craft“I’m going to pour us all drinks,” Alisha said, “and then we’re going to make some awesome handmade onesies together.”

It was hilarious. And brilliant.

As you can probably imagine, the designs got only more creative as we finished our first drinks and started on the next round.

After a great weekend with Alisha and Cam, it was back to work for me. I had a few days in New York with Matt, and then I was on the road again.

Just last week, as a work trip wrapped up, I got the news that my 90-year-old grandma in Minnesota was in the ICU with pneumonia. I immediately changed my flight plans and headed to Minneapolis. Considering her age and health, and knowing that the babies are coming soon and who knew when I’d get to go home again, it seemed like the best thing to do. I’m really glad I got to be there for a few days with my grandma (who, luckily, got moved to regular care as her health stabilized). Matt’s grandma, who was such a cool lady, passed away last year as we were starting the surrogacy process, and it’s been hard to say goodbye to one generation as we prepare for the next one. It’s a big mix of emotions.

Combining all that with everything going on at our jobs, in conjunction with my work travel, and all the baby prep going on, things have been a little hectic. We’re trying to still take time to go see movies and sleep in a little bit on weekends, recognizing that in about nine short weeks all of that is going to be ancient history for us for a while.

I have no doubt, however, that it’ll be worth it. 🙂

–Josh

P.S. For more photos from our lives, feel free to follow us on Instagram @joshcentral.

P.P.S. If you’re wondering how our final vacation before babies went, you can join us for a few minutes of it here.

10 Weeks Left!

2 Mar

Hey everyone!  Sorry for the lack of posts lately, but there isn’t much to share at this point.  Our surrogate’s health reports have all come back perfectly normal, great BP, no bleeding issues, no heart abnormalities, and a total weight gain of 8.8 pounds in the last 25 weeks.  two-cauliflower-thumb17920959The fruit tracker blogs say that our babies are the size of two cauliflower… I can’t imagine how the surrogate feels about that.  Most twins are born around 35-36 weeks, so we are beginning to make our preparations for the trip back to Mumbai.  Thanks to everyone for your encouragement and support as we double the size of our family in a few short weeks!

–Matt

Three Months To Go

11 Feb

For years now I’ve been saying I wanted to turn 30 out of the country. So, hello from the British Virgin Islands!

Matt and I are here on our final vacation before the twins arrive, celebrating my birthday with friends, and enjoying our last adult vacation before it’s all trips to Disney World and “Are we there yet?” coming simultaneously from two little voices in the back seat. 😉

Below are a few photos of the British Virgin Islands, taken by my best friend, Josh K.

bvi 01

bvi 02

bvi 03

bvi 06

bvi 04

bvi 05

We’re headed back to NYC (and winter) tomorrow. It’s hard to leave, to say the least.

It was a great way to ring in a big birthday–with my husband and friends, surrounded by white sand and blue-turquoise ocean–and toast to our final pre-kids vacation.

The twins are due three months from today. 🙂

–Josh

One Hundred Days To Go

31 Jan

Right now I’m on a work trip in Dallas, Texas. It’s been a crazy trip, partially because I’m trying to fit in as many client meetings as humanly possible before the twins arrive.

Today is also a big day for us, as it officially marks one hundred days until our twins’ due date of May 11.

Here in Dallas, while having lunch between work meetings, I got a text message from Matt.

“Hey baby,” the text said.

I immediately texted back and said, “Hey!” I thought he was just being sweet and checking in.

What I didn’t realize was that, if he’d spoken it aloud, his voice would have gone up at the end of the phrase. It wasn’t a greeting, but a tantalizing statement trailing off. My phone dinged again and in came a photo message that made my jaw drop:

twins car seat

I was speechless when the image first loaded. All I could immediately text back was “!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Totally took my breath away.

He also sent a photo of the double stroller these car seats snap into, sitting right in our living room. That was crazy because the thing is at least two-thirds the length of our large sofa. It’s just huge.

Seeing these car seats is just amazing to me. Our kids are going to be sitting in these car seats. Before summer begins.

Tomorrow the baby countdown goes from triple digits to double digits….

–Josh

VIDEO: Twin Sonogram, Week 18

23 Jan

On Monday, just hours before leaving for a work trip to St. Louis, a package arrived at our house.

“It’s from Mumbai,” Matt said. Immediately we were both excited.

“Do you think it’s the ultrasound?” I asked.

We knew we were supposed to get a DVD of an ultrasound eventually, but we didn’t think it’d be for another couple months.

“Only one way to find out.”

We sat on the sofa and put the DVD into Matt’s laptop. It loaded, and seconds later images of our twins filled the screen. It’s hard to explain how exciting, moving, and almost surreal it was to see our children.

The video showed the twins from many different angles. We saw heads, faces, arms, legs, hands, feet, and various on-screen confirmations from the ultrasound tech that the twins’ internal organs and developmental processes were right on track.

After we watched it I recorded about a minute of the 12-minute ultrasound on my iPhone. I wanted to watch it again on the plane.

There’s one sequence I kept watching, where you see a leg kicking around, and then the ultrasound tech pauses it on a perfectly formed foot, measuring in at just barely over an inch heel-to-toe. I kept thinking, “Oh my god, this is my son or daughter’s foot.” I played it again. And again.

So amazing. Enjoy. 🙂

–Josh

Tales of an IVF Egg Donor

21 Jan

Matt and I have a good friend who happens to also be an egg donor. We asked if she might write a little something for New Dads, to share a bit of an egg donor’s perspective, and she very kindly obliged. Enjoy!

My name is Melodye, and I am an egg donor.  (“Hi, Melodye.”)  I also happen to be friends with Matt and Josh, and they asked if I would be interested in writing an entry from the egg donor’s point of view. Here I am, happily obliging.

My first experience donating (yep, I’ve donated more than once) stemmed from wanting to backpack through Europe. I brainstormed on how to make a decent sum of money to pay for this bucket list item, and upon discovering that donating eggs would earn me $8,000, I decided to go for it.

Although I didn’t know anyone who had done it (or anyone whose brain I could pick on the subject), I did extensive research online about the process and which service to use. NYU, Columbia and Cornell were my top choices, so I decided to apply with all three.

After having a couple appointments with Columbia, for some reason I just didn’t feel comfortable. I felt like a number there, so decided to retract my application. With NYU, I had a blood work appointment on my third visit (still during the application process—I hadn’t been matched with a recipient yet, but more on that later). There was a major storm, so I couldn’t make it. Even though I called to reschedule, they deemed me unreliable and declined my application.

Cornell was a welcome contrast to both of these experiences. From the first day I arrived, they were kind, compassionate, and made me feel that I was just as much a part of this process as the recipient.

The first step when applying is filling out extensive paperwork. This includes a full health history for myself and all family members—mother, father, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents (some of which can be very difficult to track down!).

Then there is a personality/psychological exam. There are hundreds of true/false questions to be answered. Some of the questions include: “I am troubled by attacks of nausea and vomiting,” “No one seems to understand me,” “I like mechanics magazines,” “I have a good appetite,” “I wake up fresh & rested most mornings,” “I think I would like the work of a librarian,” “I like to read newspaper articles on crime,” “My hands and feet are usually warm enough,” “I have never been in trouble because of my sex behavior,” “A minister can cure disease by praying and putting his hand on your head,” “I am liked by most people who know me.”

After 567 of these, your brain starts to swim a bit.

While they interpret the results, they take you through a series of blood tests to see if you are a carrier for certain genetic diseases. Lastly, potential donors speak with a psychiatrist about why they’re interested in being a donor. The psychiatrist also asks hypothetical questions about the future (i.e., “What would you do if the child wanted to contact you when they turned 18?”). If after all of this they deem you a suitable donor candidate, they walk you through what you can expect as a donor.

Once officially on the donor list with Cornell (and let me reiterate how wonderful it was to work with them), potential recipients can learn all about you. They never know your name or see your handwriting, nor do they see a picture (they will know your physical traits, however). If you want, you can also submit a photo of yourself as a child (totally optional; I opted “yes”).

At that point, it’s a waiting game to see who wants you. I assumed they were picking someone based on the physical and personality qualities the potential parent possessed (who was unable to genetically participate) and wanted in their offspring.

They warned that it could take weeks or months to get matched with a family. But then, by the following week, I had a match.

Continue reading

Week 18 Twin Sonogram

14 Jan

Matt and I were so excited to get our Week 18 sonogram images a few days ago. Our clinic in Mumbai e-mailed us many images (including head, heart, spine, liver, arms, hands, feet, etc.), along with a quick report summarizing everything.

A few images:

Week 18 twin sonogram new dads on the block

Hello, twins! Check out their two little heads (above). It took me a couple viewings, but then I took a closer look at our baby on the right and saw that you can clearly make out eyes, nose, and lips. AMAZING!

Week 18 twin sonogram arm new dads on the block

Week 18 twin sonogram foot new dads on the block

The accompanying sonogram report is comforting in its very business-as-usual findings:

Dichorionic twin live pregnancy is seen. Twin peak sign and separating membrane is seen. Two placenta are seen along the fundal anterior and posterior wall. No obvious anatomical anomalies are seen. Normal  fetal cardiac activity and fetal biophysical profile in both fetuses.

Altogether, music to expectant dads’ ears.

may 11Our clinic tells us to expect a twin gestation of about 35 weeks, so now that we’re at Week 18, that means we’re officially half-way through. (!) If the babies were to gestate exactly 35 weeks, that would mean delivery on Saturday, May 11, 2013. Of course, they could be born before or after that date, but May 11 is our working, “bookmarked” due date at this point.

117 days and counting.

It’s crazy to think that in four months’ time, those little heads in the images above–sent to us electronically from 7,000 miles and many time zones away–will actually be cradled in our arms and preparing to come home with us to New York City.

“Excited” and “looking forward to it” barely begins to explain it. 😉

–Josh