Archive | March, 2013

Week 29: Hello, Baby Shower Gifts!

31 Mar

One of the facts of having children through gestational surrogacy is that you don’t get to see the day-to-day changes in a growing pregnancy belly. You don’t get to see or feel babies moving, and unfortunately we aren’t able to be a part of all the doctor visits, etc.

But one way Matt and I are experiencing the growth and changes in the third trimester of our surrogate pregnancy is the growth and change in the number of gifts that have arrived for our twins in the past few weeks. It started with a trickle–a few boxes here and there–and culminated in a full-on deluge of colorful, thoughtful, adorable presents at the baby shower our friends and family recently threw for us.

twin baby shower gifts gay dads gayby

Matt’s mom, Ellen, and several of our very good friends put together quite a team effort to pull off our baby shower, and it ended up being one of the most relaxed, fun, easy, celebratory afternoons I can remember. Everyone had champagne, people had a chance to talk and mingle and hang out, and we all got to toast to the pending arrival of our twins.

surrogate pregnancy belly week 26 twins 26 weeksI was on Instagram today, looking at some of the photos posted under the #surrogacy hashtag, and saw this photo of a surrogate carrying twins at Week 26. I looked at that belly and wondered what our surrogate’s own belly must look like now at Week 29. We’re thinking about her and the babies today, and hoping everybody is comfortable and happy and in good health.

We’re looking forward to the day, about six weeks from now, when we get to be with all of them.


Week 28: First Photo of Our Surrogate’s Baby Bump

24 Mar

Last week, while on a work trip in Austin, TX, Matt called just moments after I woke up.

“Have you seen your e-mail yet?” he asked.

“No,” I asked. “Why?”

“You’ll want to check it.”

Lo and behold, there was the very first photo we’d seen of our surrogate’s belly, looking very pregnant with our twins.

surrogate belly bump pregnant week 27

Ta da!

I can’t even describe how cool it’s been to see the sonograms, then the 3D sonogram, and now our surrogate’s belly, too. At every step it all feels even more real, and even more exciting.

Now at Week 28, there are only about seven more weeks to go. So crazy!


Our Twins’ Week 25 3D Sonogram

23 Mar

I landed in Omaha on a Monday night, there for the week for work. I got in my rental car, heading for the hotel, when my phone rang.


“Guess what we got?” It was Matt.


“Our 3D sonogram.”

Shut up! I thought we weren’t supposed to get that until Week 28!”

“I’m watching it right now. Get to your hotel and log onto YouTube. I’m uploading the video for you now.”

Minutes later I was in my hotel room, watching our 42-minute (!) 3D sonogram. Using my iPhone, I shot about a minute of footage of some of the highlights and then put it online for our friends and family. Here’s that (amazing! awesome!) footage.

I can’t believe this technology. So cool.

So, there you have it: the first peek at our twins.


Week 26: Third Trimester Begins!

9 Mar

Today’s an exciting day for us. At twenty-six weeks along, we’re now officially into the third trimester. As of today, if the twins happened to be born now (in an emergency, etc.) they would have an 80-90% chance of survival. Every week from here those odds only improve.

Obviously we hope the babies stay right where they are until mid-May, but it’s a relief knowing that if something happened and they came early, our kids have a much better chance of thriving than they did even a week ago. Definitely a happy milestone.

third trimester twins 26 weeks pregnany twins

Our surrogate’s belly must be getting pretty big at this point! Our clinic tells us that she’s resting at the clinic’s surrogate housing in Mumbai, with her young son at her side, and getting seen daily by a nurse and weekly by our doctor.

Just about two months to go!


Shower Prep, Daddy Reading, and . . . Onesie Designing?

8 Mar

“Another one came today.”

“Another box?” I asked.

“Yep,” Matt said. “A big one. I can’t believe such little people are going to need such large things.”

When I got home, I saw exactly what Matt meant. Sitting in the corner of the living room sat yet another giant box, piled with several others, all of varying sizes, most quite sizeable. We’d registered on Amazon (where we heard prices were best), and at Babies ‘R Us (where the employees screeched and cooed made a huge fuss over us when we registered, which was adorable). Weeks before the shower the gifts were already piling up.

Matt’s mom and several friends had secretly started planning our baby shower months ago, and we didn’t find out until they recently had to clear a date with us. (I’ve been traveling so much for work that they wanted to make sure I’d actually be in town for the big day.) Other than the date, the shower is a complete surprise. All the details are secret. We’ve been instructed only to be in a certain place at a certain time, and the rest will be revealed to us as it unfolds.

As each box arrives, and I imagine what might be inside, I can’t help thinking the same thing: “This might be the infant swing that our babies use”; “These might be the blankets we swaddle our babies in when they first get home”; “This box might hold the tub that we bathe our babies in.” I know it all probably sounds very obvious, but it also feels kind of momentous as each item arrives.

Everything is feeling very, very real.

parents magazine cover new dads on the blockAlso, just a couple weeks ago, our first issue of Parents magazine arrived. That was a crazy moment for me, because five years ago I was actually on staff at Parents, and wrote for both the magazine and their blog. I was a bachelor at the time, living the single life in Manhattan, and writing for this magazine for families. And now here I am, a few years later, a married subscriber with babies on the way.

While on all these recently work trips–I’m trying to squeeze in a lot of them before the kids get here–I’ve tried to mix in a little fun. One of the trips brought me near my friends Alisha and Cam in the Midwest. I wrapped up work on a Friday and then headed to their house for a weekend of hanging out and catching up, and they surprised me on the first night with a very cool craft project.

On Alisha and Cam’s dining room table sat several onesies, fabric markers and washable puff paints, and stencils. At first I didn’t quite connect what was going on.

making onesie infant baby fabric marker puff paint craft“I’m going to pour us all drinks,” Alisha said, “and then we’re going to make some awesome handmade onesies together.”

It was hilarious. And brilliant.

As you can probably imagine, the designs got only more creative as we finished our first drinks and started on the next round.

After a great weekend with Alisha and Cam, it was back to work for me. I had a few days in New York with Matt, and then I was on the road again.

Just last week, as a work trip wrapped up, I got the news that my 90-year-old grandma in Minnesota was in the ICU with pneumonia. I immediately changed my flight plans and headed to Minneapolis. Considering her age and health, and knowing that the babies are coming soon and who knew when I’d get to go home again, it seemed like the best thing to do. I’m really glad I got to be there for a few days with my grandma (who, luckily, got moved to regular care as her health stabilized). Matt’s grandma, who was such a cool lady, passed away last year as we were starting the surrogacy process, and it’s been hard to say goodbye to one generation as we prepare for the next one. It’s a big mix of emotions.

Combining all that with everything going on at our jobs, in conjunction with my work travel, and all the baby prep going on, things have been a little hectic. We’re trying to still take time to go see movies and sleep in a little bit on weekends, recognizing that in about nine short weeks all of that is going to be ancient history for us for a while.

I have no doubt, however, that it’ll be worth it. 🙂


P.S. For more photos from our lives, feel free to follow us on Instagram @joshcentral.

P.P.S. If you’re wondering how our final vacation before babies went, you can join us for a few minutes of it here.

10 Weeks Left!

2 Mar

Hey everyone!  Sorry for the lack of posts lately, but there isn’t much to share at this point.  Our surrogate’s health reports have all come back perfectly normal, great BP, no bleeding issues, no heart abnormalities, and a total weight gain of 8.8 pounds in the last 25 weeks.  two-cauliflower-thumb17920959The fruit tracker blogs say that our babies are the size of two cauliflower… I can’t imagine how the surrogate feels about that.  Most twins are born around 35-36 weeks, so we are beginning to make our preparations for the trip back to Mumbai.  Thanks to everyone for your encouragement and support as we double the size of our family in a few short weeks!