I took a trip to Capital One today to send two wire transfers off to Mumbai to begin our second attempt at surrogacy. After quite a few emails back and forth with the clinic, all of our questions were answered about what to expect during a second try. Unfortunately (and I know this is going to sound awful), we have no way of ever knowing what happened with the first attempt or if an attempt was even made. After freezing two sperm samples, Josh and I left the country, so for all we know, the first attempt was never completed and this is a way to squeeze a little more money out of us. I did receive copies of the hormone test results from the clinic, but a document like that is very easy to replicate and without having seen the actual implantation of the embryos, it’s a large leap of faith to simply send another round of cash out into the world.
If I hadn’t gone to the clinic in person and met with the surrogate, the lawyer, and the doctor, I would be extremely nervous about this. I absolutely trust that Rotunda has our best interests in mind, which is why we agreed to follow their protocols and work with a new surrogate as well as a new egg donor. The rationale behind this is that either of those factors could have been what prevented the first pregnancy, so the best odds are keeping the sperm the same and changing up all other variables.
Surrogacy abroad is not for those who can’t handle stress. This transfer has put our total spend over 20k so far including travel, legal fees, passport visa fees, and two attempts. In the US, we would have clear guidelines to follow and our money would not be tracked via email with rounded international conversions treated as full payment. In the US, if our deposit was a penny short, the computer would freeze things and we would have to resolve the issue. Everything is negotiable in India, and we have tried to get used to the more laid back culture when conducting business.
I’m trying to think good thoughts as we begin the second cycle. It’s very difficult when you can’t see any of the physical manifestations of your payment, but we just have to trust that Rotunda and our new surrogate will have a more favorable outcome this time around. That, and I need to fly back to Mumbai at least one more time to secure my newfound mayorship of Rotunda – The Center for Human Reproduction. 🙂