Last night Matt and I went out to Bamboo 52 in Hell’s Kitchen (easy location, good happy hour specials) for drinks with a friend who also has a pregnancy under way with Rotunda Clinic in Mumbai.
We know our friend from my years working and writing for a national parenting magazine (of all things!). We got in touch again when we realized we were going down the same path to parenthood, and even with the same clinic.
We won’t say his name because he hasn’t done the “big reveal” with his family yet—letting them know he’s an expectant dad, soon to reach the end of the first trimester. He made a very interesting point: many couples, who conceive a baby without medical assistance, don’t tell anyone the pregnancy news until the first trimester is through and the danger of miscarriage is greatly reduced, and so he decided not to tell family yet, either. So, to say the least, his family has a big Christmas surprise coming. Couldn’t be happier for him.
It’s hard to express how nice it was to “talk shop” with someone going through the very same process—the medical tests, the expenses, the visas and travel plans, the sonograms, the getting-baby-home bureaucracy planning, similar timelines, similar questions, etc. It’s one of those times that Matt and I feel grateful for living in New York City, a place big enough (and with enough people similar to us) that there are others who are going through the exact same process, and some even working with the same clinic. If Matt and I lived in either of our hometowns, for example, it’s very unlikely we could just randomly have drinks with a friend just happening to also be undergoing gestational surrogacy halfway around the world.
This blog has been so helpful, too, because it has put us in touch with so many people, including a lovely husband and wife in Australia who also have a pregnancy under way with our clinic. They’re a few months ahead of us; our friend here in New York is a few weeks behind us. The nice thing is that each of us can share our experiences with each other at different points in the timelines, saying “Okay, expect this to happen in a few weeks,” etc. It’s very cool, these friendships and kinships starting through this (amazing, exciting, nerve racking) shared experience.
Also, you know what this means: There may be a baby playgroup of Rotunda Clinic alums forming here in NYC, with honorary members scattered around the globe. 🙂