4 1/2 Months Left

3 Jan

It’s hard to believe how fast all of this happened.  We are about 4 1/2 months away from being dads, and I feel like we were just discussing our options. There is no manual or guidebook for any of this, and I am constantly asking myself questions about our preparedness and our timeline.  Should we be buying cribs and strollers yet?  When is too soon to pick out some baby clothes? I guess it will all come in time… I mean, with all of the billions of births on the planet, we HAVE to be better prepared than most, right?

On January 11th, we will be receiving our Week 18 sonogram pictures.  The last sonogram was quite a few weeks ago, and except for brief email check-ins with Dr. Patel, we haven’t had much communication with Mumbai.  In theory, the babies will be big enough that we could determine the sex pretty easily.  I was initially under the impression that once we had passed the first trimester and gone beyond India’s pregnancy termination cut-off, we would be able to have the sex of the twins revealed to us.  However, I learned that India has laws specifically prohibiting gender selection or identity, so we will not know the sexes before birth.  After reading about the awful birth rate of females in India compared to males, it makes sense and I fully agree with the laws.  Still, it would help us in planning for the shower and for the first few months of their lives.  Grandma is already crocheting two baby blankets in a pale rainbow of colors.  When they are born, we will still be in Mumbai for a few weeks, and it will give her time to trim them out in an appropriate color.

While we were visiting my family in North Carolina for Christmas, we finished putting together my mom’s application for an Indian visa.  She mailed it off to Washington earlier this week, and it will take a few weeks to process and return.  I’m thrilled that she has agreed to join us in India.  Her first grand-babies appreciate it, too.

Lastly, here’s a video of our holidays that Josh made recently on his iPhone. The video captures it all perfectly. Hope your holidays were great, too.

–Matt

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Happy New Year!

1 Jan

IMG_0890

Happy New Year from New Dads on the Block!

This is the year we’ll become dads together.

We’re thrilled, and so grateful.

xo

Josh & Matt

Week Fourteen Update

17 Dec

As of this weekend, our twins are fourteen weeks along.

From what we’ve read, that means the babies are likely about 3.5-4” each, crown-to-rump-length, and each probably weigh about two ounces.

The twins are now about the size of oranges. I’m sure this makes Matt particularly happy this week, as he’s a Syracuse alum. (Their mascot is an orange.) In addition:

  • two oranges“Your babies can now squint, frown, grimace, and possibly suck their thumb! Thanks to brain impulses, facial muscles are getting a workout as their tiny features form one expression after another. Kidneys are producing urine, which releases into the amniotic fluid — a process that continues up until birth. They can grasp, too.” (source)
  • “The liver starts making bile this week — a sign that it’s doing its job right — and the spleen starts helping in the production of red blood cells. Though [our gestational surrogate] can’t feel their tiny punches and kicks yet, their little hands and feet (which now measure about 1/2 inch long) are more flexible and active.” (source)
  • “Now the size of your clenched fist, your babies are more fluid in their movements, so they’re no longer doing the jerk every time they reposition arms and legs. Other developments this week include a roof of their own (inside the mouth, that is) as well as intestinal activity: their intestines are producing meconium (which is the waste that will make up first bowel movements after birth).” (source)

Since our clinic tells us to expect about 35 weeks for twin gestation, we’re now about 40% of the way through the pregnancy.

It’s going so fast!

–Josh

It’s Starting To Feel Very Real….

14 Dec

Getting the sonograms of the twins has been wonderful. Reading the online resources that tell you how big your babies are in the terms of fresh produce–the size of raspberries in early November, and the size of lemons as of last weekend–has been fun, too. Crossing the line into the second trimester was a big moment as well, relieving some of our worries.

But another big moment happened last week, and it wasn’t one I’d expected.

photo(2)I was on the phone with my best friend, Josh K, when I saw the Amazon box sitting on our table. As I opened the box, I felt my pulse pick up. On the recommendation of just about everyone we know with kids, we ordered What To Expect The First Year by Heidi Murkoff, and now I held it in my hands–something tangible, something right before my eyes.

I knew it’d be our go-to resource as we raised our twins for the first twelve months of their lives. Our babies, I thought to myself, the ones coming in just five months. Adrenaline pumped through my chest and, just as unexpectedly, I got a little teary.

“Are you alright?” Josh K asked me, still on the line.

“I am,” I said.

And I was. Better than alright, in fact. But I also felt a little twinge, a little change.

More and more, I was starting to feel like a daddy. Daddy-to-be, perhaps, but daddy nonetheless.

–Josh

When Life Gives You Lemons…

9 Dec

We are currently at 13 weeks and out of the first trimester! According to our baby tracker, the twins are roughly the size of lemons. It was just a coincidence that my friend Tracy in Florida has been growing her own citrus and finally harvested two perfect lemons on the same day that we crossed the 13-week mark. Rather than scouring the internet for some stock lemon footage, I am honored to present her work as a symbol of the babies’ growth. Love you, Tracy!

2012-12-08 12.10.58

–Matt

Meet The Twins!

8 Dec

Baby One:

week 12 twelve sonogram baby 1 120412

 

Baby Two:

week 12 twelve sonogram baby 2 120412

The twins were twelve weeks and a couple days along when these sonogram images were taken in Mumbai on Monday, December 4.

From the images, in the bottom right-hand corner, you can see Baby One is 2.6 inches CRL (crown-to-rump length). Baby Two is 2.7 inches CRL.

Those ages you see (12w6d and 13w1d) are estimates based on the size of the fetuses, even though we know they’re 12 weeks and a couple days along in these photos.

The heartbeats are great, and no anomalies are shown in these scans. All things expectant dads want to hear.

On a more entertaining note, Matt and I had a little too much fun with the “ermahgerd” meme that spread like crazy around the Internet and Facebook not long ago, especially the animal “ermahgerd” meme. Matt and I may or may not have pasted a few of these images on each others’ Facebook walls when the meme first came out.

ermahgerd animals

With the new sonogram images of the twins, I couldn’t help but make my own “ermahgerd” image.

ermehgerd tweeerns fb

And yes, it is now my Facebook cover image.

About 160 days to go….

–Josh

Dads Out For Drinks

5 Dec

Last night Matt and I went out to Bamboo 52 in Hell’s Kitchen (easy location, good happy hour specials) for drinks with a friend who also has a pregnancy under way with Rotunda Clinic in Mumbai.

We know our friend from my years working and writing for a national parenting magazine (of all things!). We got in touch again when we realized we were going down the same path to parenthood, and even with the same clinic.

cocktailWe won’t say his name because he hasn’t done the “big reveal” with his family yet—letting them know he’s an expectant dad, soon to reach the end of the first trimester. He made a very interesting point: many couples, who conceive a baby without medical assistance, don’t tell anyone the pregnancy news until the first trimester is through and the danger of miscarriage is greatly reduced, and so he decided not to tell family yet, either. So, to say the least, his family has a big Christmas surprise coming. Couldn’t be happier for him.

It’s hard to express how nice it was to “talk shop” with someone going through the very same process—the medical tests, the expenses, the visas and travel plans, the sonograms, the getting-baby-home bureaucracy planning, similar timelines, similar questions, etc. It’s one of those times that Matt and I feel grateful for living in New York City, a place big enough (and with enough people similar to us) that there are others who are going through the exact same process, and some even working with the  same clinic. If Matt and I lived in either of our hometowns, for example, it’s very unlikely we could just randomly have drinks with a friend just happening to also be undergoing gestational surrogacy halfway around the world.

This blog has been so helpful, too, because it has put us in touch with so many people, including a lovely husband and wife in Australia who also have a pregnancy under way with our clinic. They’re a few months ahead of us; our friend here in New York is a few weeks behind us. The nice thing is that each of us can share our experiences with each other at different points in the timelines, saying “Okay, expect this to happen in a few weeks,” etc. It’s very cool, these friendships and kinships starting through this (amazing, exciting, nerve racking) shared experience.

Also, you know what this means: There may be a baby playgroup of Rotunda Clinic alums forming here in NYC, with honorary members scattered around the globe. 🙂

–Josh

Week Twelve Update

2 Dec

As of this weekend, our surrogate is 12 weeks pregnant with our twins.

From what Matt and I have read, this means our twins are about the size of plums at this point. two plumsThey’re about 2-3 inches from the tops of their heads to their rumps, and weigh between half an ounce and an ounce each.

Most of their critical systems are formed, and they’re about to enter a big growth and maturation stage where organs and tissue are going to grow and develop rapidly.

They’re able to open and close fingers and curl toes, and their brain development is picking up speed.

About 166 days to go….

–Josh

Ten Thousand

2 Dec

new dads on the block world viewership 10000 hits 12-02-12

On Friday, Matt and I saw that New Dads hit the 10,000 viewer mark.

Since we started the blog in June 2012, about six months ago, we’ve had readers from 93 countries click over to New Dads. (Check out the map above. So crazy!)

Matt and I wanted to take a moment to thank you for all your great comments, and for reading and visiting. We’re glad to have you along on this journey as we start our family.

Here’s to the next 10,000!

–Josh & Matt

For a list of countries where New Dads has been read (in order of most views), feel free to click through….

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We’re Expecting Twins!

28 Nov

Good news: Matt and I are eleven weeks along with healthy twins! 🙂

Two healthy babies is wonderful news, of course. However, we were pregnant with triplets initially. Our medical team in India let us know their concerns about the health and well-being of the three babies, and our gestational carrier, due to the multiple pregnancy. Their concern was great enough that they let us know they felt it medically necessary to reduce the pregnancy from triplets to twins.

Matt and I were, of course, saddened by this news, and talked a lot about it. We did plenty of reading and research about the subject and found some important information about reducing a pregnancy from triplets to twins.

Carrying three babies to term would more than double a woman’s risk of developing the most severe diseases of pregnancy, such as preeclampsia. The average triplet is born two months premature, significantly raising the risk of disabilities such as cerebral palsy and of lifelong damage to the infant’s lungs, eyes, brain and other organs. By reducing the pregnancy to twins, [there is a] decrease in the risk of severe prematurity. (Washington Post)

We were also able to find medical journal articles, and studies, about reducing triplets to twins.

First trimester multifetal pregnancy reduction can be performed in order to decrease the risk of complications associated with multiple gestations. These complications include extreme prematurity before 32 weeks, low birthweight infants, fetal death in utero, high levels of perinatal mortality, and high levels of perinatal morbidity, which includes cerebral palsy and necrotizing enterocolitis. (European Society of Human Reproduction and Embryology)

What we read led us to believe that our medical team came to the right conclusion.

On top of all that, our gestational surrogate is five feet tall, which makes it obvious that carrying three babies to full term would be impossible. Not only that, but it could put our surrogate’s health at risk as well, from more minor health concerns, to potentially life-threatening complications. Matt and I are so grateful to our surrogate for carrying our children for us–more than we can ever even express–and it only seems right to do everything we can to assure her health, as well as the health of our children.

Matt and I spent a quiet weekend together, sometimes somber and still doing a lot of thinking, but came to a place of acceptance with what our doctors felt was medically necessary. This week we’re working to focus on the fact that we have two healthy babies on the way. We couldn’t be more thrilled about that, and we’re so excited to meet them this spring.

–Josh

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